How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
where does the pee come out of this thing
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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