He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
