Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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