Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
