He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
