I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Randomize
