He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
