That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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