the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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