I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
