Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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