She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
God I need to hump something, right now.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
