It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
