I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
