So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
