I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
