or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
