They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
