I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
