So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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