Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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