but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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