just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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