hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
