69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
