just come out here and I will go home with you...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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