I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
