a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
