I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You smell like stripper and shame
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
