North Korea, Best Korea!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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