honey bunches of taint.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
