I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
