Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
