we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
