Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
do herpes really smell.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
