Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
