I want to make a zoo with you.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
