entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
