i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
