D3 body, D1 cock
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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