would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
