I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
