So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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