Three words: puerto rican gang bang
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
