Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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