His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
