I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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