that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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