Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
