I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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